It’s Monday and I only have a few days left before Christmas to do my wrapping. My 8 year old is in school for the next few days so I am going to get it all done while she is there. I hope. I bought the fancy wrapping paper cutter from Scotch and I bought the pop up tape dispenser that goes on your hand so I am armed and ready to go. Now I just need the motivation. I supposed I could have taken my own advice when it comes to setting goals and just done a few at a time so I wouldn’t be overwhelmed but clearly it’s 3 days before I need to have them completely wrapped and I am sitting here typing this! Okay, so I will head up stairs right after this and do a few. Then later do a few more. Maybe I’ll get into a groove.
I’ve been kind of “wrapped up” with my own thoughts lately about women and cancer because two of my friends were just both diagnosed with stage 1 ovarian cancer. Both of them…can you believe that? And it’s within 5 weeks of each other. I have been struggling with how I can help them. I am the type of person that needs to help those around me whom I see struggling. I guess it’s just who I am and I like that about me because it is rewarding when you help someone but there are some things I just can’t fix. And for these two women, I don’t know how to help them.
Sometimes I do too much when I should let them figure it out on their own. For example, my 20 year old daughter and her boyfriend are trying to save their money for a trip we are all taking in February to Las Vegas. Her boyfriend, Chris, came by the house after work one night frustrated beyond frustration! He was hoping to make enough money to go out for dinner but he still hadn’t finished his Christmas shopping so they were disappointed that they had no money. I wanted to go upstairs and get the $25.00 gift certificate I bought to the Olive Garden to put in her Christmas stocking so that they could go out and be happy. I am a fixer. I am EXACTLY like my mom and she drives me nuts sometimes when she tries to fix things! So I withheld my instinct to make everyone happy and let them figure it out themselves. It certainly isn’t going to kill them to have to stay in for a night and eat soup.
I’m not sure what my friends will need but I am always going to be here as a friend for them. I have a feeling if I can just be patient enough, I’ll know what they need from me because they are simply going to tell me and that’s the best thing I can do for them.
I feel the same way about binge eating. When you are ready to get help tell the people around you exactly what you need. Tell them because trust me, they don’t know how to help you. They don’t read minds. They may care so much about you that it may seem like they are trying to “fix” it but I will go out on a limb and say that they truly want to help you but they don’t know how so they are guessing on what you need. It’s the same thing for my friends with cancer. I want so badly to “fix” it so they won’t be unhappy. But I am not in a position TO fix it. I am only in a position to be a friend and do as they ask me.
Well, I’ve put off wrapping long enough! Take care and please say a little blessing for my friends.